It was merely a setback!

So I imagined this week I’d be saying how my Sci-Fi story collection was nicely second drafted.  But it isn’t.

My editor (paid in chocolate/coffee) read through the last story to be reviewed, got half way through, and came to the conclusion that it didn’t live up to the standard of the other stories.

This didn’t upset me; in a way I was relieved.  You see the thing was, I knew it wasn’t good enough, before I’d even handed it over to be read.  I wanted to be told to keep that one out.  Why didn’t I make the call myself?  Perhaps a lack of confidence.

Would I be able to write a better story?
What if I’d run out of ideas?

What if I’d been deluding myself and all the stories weren’t good enough? 

I spent the next two days thinking.

Strangely that is one of the toughest parts of being an author.  You can spend hours or days, sitting, walking, doodling, making a drink, getting a snack, staring into space… and to the whole world it looks like you aren’t doing anything at all.

It sounds very lame when at the end of the day someone asks how it went, and you reply:

“Good.  I thought about a lot of stuff.”

The world values the physical, and if you don’t have something to show at the end of the day, you don’t really have a mark of progress.  I went through a stage of feeling worried and guilty that I wouldn’t have anything to show by the end of this week, that it would be a “wasted” week. 

Looking back on it, I can now see it’s been a valuable week.  I’ve learned a good lesson on how to deal with a setback, and maybe gained a little confidence too.

No one was angry that I’d been delayed in my plan.  I did get some new ideas.  I started writing one, it’s going well, and I’m enjoying it.  I can say with certainty that the final product will be as good as I can make it – and a bar to beat for my future endeavours.