Parachute

"Hello?  Is this Parachute Training Inc?"
"Yes sir.  Are you looking to book a jump?"
"No, no.  I can't say I've ever fancied parachuting.  No head for heights, really, and well.... oh god, the trees are so tiny!"
"Oh, perhaps you'd like to book a gift for a friend?"
"Ah, no.  All my friends CRRRRUUSHHHHHpop on the ground."
"I think we lost the signal for a moment there - there's a lot of noise.  I didn't quite hear that last part."
"Oh I just CRHHSSSSSHHHH not my friends I'm ringing for.  It's me."
"But I thought you said you didn't want to book a jump?"
"I don't CCRRRUUSHHHHHHH"
"Sorry sir, you keep breaking up.  Are you in a car?"
"A plane actually, and that's what I'm ringing about.  I'm a bit pushed for time and I wondered if you could explain to me how to use a parachute?"